On-Line Journal



I have a dream of a little girl playing with Win, my wife, under a tree.  Her name is Robin, Robin Elizabeth Marsh.  She was a child we wanted so very much.  She was a child we hoped for so very much.  She was born with an unexpected heart problem (we had specifically asked for problems like that to be looked for on the ultrasounds), but the doctor caught it well before there were any complications.  She had to have a dangerous surgery, but she survived it and was thriving.

She had just learned to smile -- real smiles, the kind a baby wants to get out, but is still learning to get the face to produce.  Caring for her was a struggle, but we had rearranged our lives around her -- we wanted her so much.  This time it was going to work out, we were going to have healing and renewal in our lives, after such long trial and trouble.

Then she died in her sleep, without any warning at all.

I've collected this material for everyone who had questions.  So many people know us.  Win and I serve on state and local boards, she spoke to about three thousand women at a conference this summer -- and they could all see she was very pregnant, and we told everyone about this miracle baby to be.

There is a FAQ I prepared to let people know how things were going during the surgeries and such and my Journal entries (or some of them) about how things have been since.

I still dream of a little girl playing under a tree.

We only part to meet again
Though mighty boundless waves may sever
Remembrance oft shall bring thee near
And I will with thee go forever
And oft at midnights silent hour
When brilliant planets shall guide the ocean
Thy name shall rise to heaven's highest star
And mingle with my soul's devotion

[attributed to Edgar Allen Poe]


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